Early in my teaching career I wanted to become a counselor for troubled teens. 

I liked teaching English, but I LOVED talking to my students, getting to know them, hearing about their problems, and offering them advice. I often said that if I could go to school every day and just talk to my students, I’d never want to quit teaching.

Becoming a counselor would require going back to school, and I wasn’t 💯 sure I wanted to do that, so I was talking it over with my mom.

Her response? 

She laughed, and then said, “You can’t even handle the kids you have now, and you want to be a counselor for them?”

And guess what decision I made: NOT to become a counselor.

Flash back a few years earlier when I told my mom as a senior in high school that I was going to go to college to become a high school English teacher.

She said,  “You can’t be a teacher. You’re too shy.”

And guess what decision I made: I became a teacher (and taught for 28 years). 

(ps: My mom is actually very supportive of the things I want to do…but there is a point here)

What’s the difference? 

When I was talking to my mom about becoming a counselor, I was very unsure of myself…I was doubting whether I would be a good counselor; I was questioning my decision. So when my mom spoke a limiting belief out loud, I adopted it.

When I was talking to my mom about becoming a high school English teacher, I was very sure of myself…I knew exactly what I was going to do. So when my mom spoke a limiting belief out loud, I rejected it.

What I didn’t know then, but thankfully know now, is that people talk to us from THEIR fears and THEIR limiting beliefs, and we DON’T have to accept them.

Had I known that all those years ago, I would have followed my heart instinct, and I would have become a counselor for troubled teens.

How many times have you NOT done something you really wanted to do because of what someone else said to you?

Need another example?

I remember when I was first starting my local meal prep business, Prepped Girl, and I was talking to a close, trusted colleague about all the possibilities that were going to come with my thriving business.

He looked at me in disbelief and said, “Karen, you do know that most businesses fail within the first 5 years, don’t you?”

Umm, no, actually I didn’t know that statistic, but because I had some fears & doubts (like all people do when starting something way out of their comfort zones), I bought into that story.

I shifted my focus from all the possibilities & focused on that fear of becoming one of the statistics.  I chose to avoid risks in fear of failure, and the business never did grow how I had planned.

Looking back, I can see so many instances where I listened to someone else’s fears & limiting beliefs and changed what I was doing or was going to do because I wasn’t confident in myself and I was swayed by their cautionary tales. 

When I told people our plan to sell our house, quit my job, move into our RV, and travel the country, the 2 most common limiting beliefs I heard were:

1) You should wait until you retire 

2) You won’t be able to afford health insurance. 

But I felt in my heart that I would figure it all out, so I did not change my mind. 

People mean well; they don’t mean to hurt us or to stop us. They feel like they are helping us by cautioning us. 

So this week I invite you to take stock of what advice you are getting from others. Are you seeking advice from growth-minded people or people who seem stuck in their limited views of the world?

• Maybe you want to travel this summer, but someone tell you that gas is too expensive.
• Maybe you want to train for a race, but someone tells you it’s too hard.
• Maybe you want to lose weight, but someone tells you that after a certain age it’s impossible.
• Maybe you want to remodel your house, but someone tells you that contractors can’t be trusted.
• Maybe you want to change jobs/careers, but someone tells you it’s too late for you to start something new.

Think about WHO is giving you advice. 

Are they telling you why it can’t be done, or are they helping you explore your options?

Remember: people speak from what they know–their own fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs. If their fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs don’t suit you, you don’t have to adopt them!