Do you yearn for external validation?

External validation is when we are looking for others to fulfill our desires.

We believe we are not worthy or capable of doing/having what we want, so we wait for others to do it for us.

And when they don’t, we become upset or angry or resentful and this creates conflict in our relationships.

👉 Constantly seeking external validation is part of a victim mindset—believing that you are powerless, incapable of, walked-over, downtrodden, and so much more. 

😣 I was stuck in a victim mindset for much of my adult life. 

I was constantly looking for my husband to validate me, to “make me feel” worthy & valued & important.

And man, let me tell you the conflicts this caused.

We fought all.the.time because it wasn’t his job to make me feel valued or important. It wasn’t his job to make me feel happy. It wasn’t his job to fulfill my needs.

That was MY job.

❤️ It wasn’t until I started personal development…it wasn’t until I started reading books & listening to podcasts & learning about mindset practices…that I realized that I–ME–was a big part of my marital strife.

The way I was thinking about myself, how I was feeling sorry for myself, was my problem.

📔Today I was reading a chapter from Jenna Kutcher’s new book, How Are You, Really?, when I read this:

When I start to feel unvalued in my relationship, I ask myself, “Am I looking for this person to offer a value I can offer myself?” Is this an area I’ve been neglecting in my own life? Is this a circumstance where I feel unfulfilled but am hoping for someone else to satisfy?

How many times does that happen in our relationships? We project our unfulfilled desires onto the ones closest to us. We claim their circumstances are keeping us from our unmet needs, and we crush those under our own roofs with bricks of expectation and resentment.

Chapter 10, How Are You, Really?

This is how personal development is key to us living our very best lives.

🙀 I didn’t KNOW I could change the way I was thinking.

🙀 I didn’t KNOW that my thoughts weren’t actually facts.

Books like How Are You, Really? are like 🔦 inside my brain. 

They shed 💡 on the dark parts of my life and teach me how I can take action to change that.

🌟 This is what we do during life coaching sessions…I help you see what you are thinking so you can see how your thoughts are impacting your life.

🌟 And then I teach you how to change those thoughts so that you feel empowered to stop searching for that external validation.

I am taking on 3 new clients this month.

Click HERE to fill out a form for a FREE consultation. 

Let’s get to work on finding and changing YOUR limiting beliefs so you can improve your most important relationships.

❤️