I was determined to have flats in every color.

One day I was sitting in my high school classroom longingly admiring the flats (aka shoes for non 80’s lingo speakers) the girl sitting diagonally from me was wearing.

It seemed she had a pair of flats in every color to match all the outfits she wore, and I was kind of jealous of that.

I mean, this was the late 1980’s

I didn’t grow up with a lot of extra money to spend, and I would find myself feeling small because I didn’t have what other girls had.

But truth be told, it wasn’t just her flats I quietly envied.

It was also how perfect her hair seemed to be each day, permed & teased just so, how cute her outfits were, how put together she always seemed, & the fun times she looked to be having with her friends.

I wanted my life to be like hers.

I felt so small & unseen.

I counted myself so unworthy and invaluable.

I always felt like I was on the fringe of all things cool.

So I vowed that day that I too would have a pair of flats in every color, my hair would be just as big, I would learn how to pop my collars, wear my deep V-neck sweaters backward, apply blue eyeshadow & eyeliner, & peg my jeans just so.

Years later, I chatted with this girl and she shared with me how much of a challenge high school was for her, how dark those times were. How much she struggled.

And boy was that an eye opener.

You see, 16/18 year old me didn’t understand that external appearances didn’t always match internal realities or that things can never make her feel valued and important.

But 52 year-old-me FINALLY understands that she gets to DECIDE & to CHOOSE her own innate worthiness & that she CAN and DESERVES to create any life she desires to live.

I know and believe deep down that we ALL can have the abundance and the love and the fulfillment and the joy that life has to offer if we just simply allow ourselves to have it.

Because, as I told my youngest Peep the other day, God makes us all & He doesn’t make one of us any lesser than the other.

We humans do that to ourselves and to each other with the thoughts we think.

PS. As a life coach, I can help you change the way you see yourself & your life so that you can create the life experiences you really want. Click HERE to request a FREE consultation.

from 1989–my senior year in high school—from left to right: senior pic, prom (the guy is a family friend who drove our limo), & graduation